What's Your Cheese?
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What should we call you?
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Scenario 1: You got scooped up by a knife and stood on a sock monkey
Try to contact your fellow cheeses for help
Feel the wind in your pores while gazing over the big beautiful world
Jump off the sock monkey and flee screaming
Scenario 2: A raccoon stole your cheese and challenged you to a dance battle
Dance, nothing is a higher priority than cheese
Agree, then grab the cheese and sprint away while the raccoon is dancing
Leave, you can always buy more cheese
Scenario 3: You fell into a fondue pot and became the life of the party
Bask in the warmth and music of the melting pot
Escape as soon as the fondue is poured
Scream that you have salmonella as a joke
Scenario 4: A mouse asked you for relationship advice
Google mice dating strategies and read the results aloud
Offer yourself as bait to get their crush's attention
Advise them to bond over their shared love of expensive cheese
Scenario 5: You starred in a cheese commercial against your will
Blackmail the cheese company by swearing to melt yourself down
Laugh about it and write a scathing review of the cheese on Yelp
Beg the producers to not air the commercial
Scenario 6: A wheel of parmesan told you its deepest secret
Haha, that's GRATE to hear
Thank you for telling me... Back when I was a young whey, I, too, ...
I will guard this secret with me until I expire.
Scenario 7: You entered a cheese rolling competition unprepared
Chug a gallon of beer and ROLL
Ask other cheeses for advice and do your best
Say you aren't fully ripened, promising to be ready next time
Scenario 8: You discovered a forbidden cheese hidden in a cave
Steal it - it might have fascinating aging properties
Leave it - some cheeses should be admired rather than tasted
Challenge the cheesemaker to a fair duel to see who is more worthy of the cheese
Scenario 9: A cheese cult tried to recruit you
Agree while planning to become a spy for the mice
Say yes because they threatened you with reincarnation as string cheese
Politely decline and roll away towards freedom
Scenario 10: You became the CEO of a cheddar empire overnight
Invest in foreign cheesemaking stakeholders
Donate a block to the local mouse nest
Eat a whole cheesecake to celebrate
Scenario 11: You are invited to the opening event at the cheese museum
Gaze at the wall about cheesemaking history in fascination
Take pictures of the best cheeses to flex on your friends
Sign up for the live cheesemaking demo to get free cheese
Scenario 12: You are lost in the sauce at the cheese factory
Approach a senior cheddar to ask for directions
Find a map and retrace your steps to the correct vat
Pick the least crowded hallway and run as fast as you can
Scenario 13: Your friends are discussing the origins of cheese in our universe
Gladly contribute your thoughts on ancient cheese philosophers
Turn the discussion into a heated debate about the best cheese instead
Cheese is a social construct and we're all cooked
Scenario 14: You won a trip to Plymouth, Wisconsin
Make an itinerary of all the cheese markets, festivals, and centers in advance
Wing it! You can definitely find your way around Plymouth, Wisconsin!
Sell your ticket for a giant wheel of brie
Scenario 15: The cheese reaper arrives to collect your wheyward soul
Make a cheesy joke about expiring before your time
Reflect on your life from curds to cheese and accept your fate
Negotiate by showing him the recipes you had planned for the future
Scenario 16: You are added to a bowl of Buldak and you feel yourself slowly melting away
HELP ME! I'M A FREE CHEESE! AHHHHHHHHH
I hope I make the tastiest Buldak topping ever
How lovely it was to experience this world with my fellow cheeses
Analyzing flavors...
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